Why I have been so MIA…

Hi My Angels

This blog post is quite different from all my other posts that I have ever done, this is not makeup or beauty related so if that is what you are here for then I am, unfortunately, about to disappoint you. I started this blog out of sheer passion for makeup and the beauty industry. I didn’t want to gain anything from it and I still don’t. The one thing that I gained from it was that it made me happy. I always felt stifled in my creative outlook in life and finally through makeup and blogging, I started to feel free, I started to feel like my true self.

But recently I have felt so disheartened and demotivated and its attributed to a lot of different aspects, not only personally but also in the beauty industry. Blogging has become an industry that has grown over the years and is thriving, almost every second person is trying to find their niche in the industry. I think that being a new blogger and coming into this industry, this set back is sort of natural feeling for me because I still don’t know where I belong and I am still trying to establish myself but what is really getting the better of me is that people are doing this for all the wrong reasons. I know what it takes to be a blogger, all of a sudden you become a one man (or woman), self-made company. You are your own marketer, designer, writer,editor and photographer all in one and its tough.

I am so grateful for my following and to know that my blog is genuinely successful because of all you lovelies that actually take the time to read my content. But what about those people that are doing this just to get free stuff, they have Instagram accounts that state that they are bloggers but yet there is no sign of a website or a review on their Instagram and as an added bonus their following is sky high because obviously its been bought, I honestly am not trying to throw shade at anyone but it is really upsetting me because these are the people that are getting recognised by large companies and it is not those that put their heart and soul into their work. I am not even talking about me here, I have made so many friends in this industry and when I see those girls not get recognised for what they do, it hurts me too and I feel that if they were not good enough then what am I?

It hurts when you know that companies that run ambassador searches or competitions aren’t looking for people who genuinely love what they do but rather the number of followers a person has. It really sucks because not everyone’s following is legit. Everyone that has an organic following knows the struggle of maintaining that following and it just makes me wonder if maybe I should just give in and actually purchase the following just to get the recognition that I truly deserve.

Personally, I wish I could have gotten more support on my blogging than I do get at the moment. My parents are pretty old school and don’t really understand what I am doing and since they don’t see any benefit to it, they think it’s a waste of my time and of course, my money. So not having them as my support system has been tough on me.

Growing up, I have never been a confident person, I battled with my weight, my skin, hell I even battled with my ovaries. I was diagnosed with poly-cystic ovaries at very young age, which in turn caused my weight and skin to play havoc with me. It also causes me to be very moody because of the imbalance of hormones. Oh and as an added bonus there is the painful and irregular periods.  I finally got the periods and my skin under a little bit of control but my moods and weight is still a constant struggle. I feel like sometimes I am living in another persons body because what I see is not what I feel and this makes me angry and upset. But I am learning to love myself more and try to understand my body in turn love it for what is but its going to be a journey.

Basically I started this blog at the darkest time in my life and it became my ray of hope, but when you start to question the thing that makes you happy then is it genuinely making you happy? With all that being said, I am NOT quieting blogging, I really do love it. I love hearing from you girls about the products that I recommended or when you ask for my advise on a product. It really overwhelms me and I can’t tell you how it means to me. Over the past few weeks I just needed this space that I took to sit back and assess what I am doing  with my life and to also assess if I really wanted to continue to do this, I needed to also just appreciate the present which I don’t think many people do.

My uncle was recently diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and he has been through a war but yet it is his positivity and his willingness to fight and conquer this disease that has amazed me. It was spending some time with him that I took the time to start to appreciate everything that I have and to appreciate the people that I have in my life. I realized that yes, there are things that will upset me in life but it is my approach and how I handle those situations that will in the end make me grow as a person. So I am back and better than ever and ready for whatever life has to bring me. My content is what makes me different from most beauty bloggers. Everything else, in terms of getting recognised by companies, will eventually fall in place

Sorry for the really long post but I hope that this gave you some insight into my life and why I have been so MIA. If you guys enjoy posts like this, please do let me know in the comments below and I will gladly do more of them.

But until the next one my loves..

Stay Glam XOXO